I try so hard not to love something because I am afraid that I will lose it. But it is almost like the harder I try to stop myself from loving, the more I do. I love so much. But one of my biggest fears is letting those around me know when I love something, especially the loved. Because once I lose it, it’s easier knowing that I am the only one that knows how much I actually cared. But at the same time it is extremely hard because no one else realizes that I am actually in any pain.